Mark Twain will soon announce he is Running for Governor of the state of Florida in the November election. OK – you know that's not gonna happen. As iconic as Mark Twain is—a status he’ll forever retain despite having guys like Ron DeSantis ban the books he wrote—he cannot come back from wherever he resides in eternity and run in 2024 because the election for governor of Florida is not until 2026. So, sadly Mr. Twain, as much as you'd like to get your revenge right away, you must drop this idea and try again in two years.

But wait up. Let’s reconsider. You have been convicted, or more correctly, banned from Florida classrooms for being a corrupting influence on youth. Doesn’t your disregard for the rule of law, regardless of whether it be moral or civil, disqualify you from running for office anyway? But then, if that be so, that means you gonna have to forget about running for Florida Governor in 2026 as well. Or maybe for any office whatever whereever it may be.

At least one would suppose. However, even if this corruption business doesn’t disqualify Mark Twain, people are saying that he should be deported off to some nasty place with unlivable heat and destructive storms because he was and still is a frontline corrupter of democracy. Why? For writing the story Running for Governor. It's one of three stories in the highly regarded (except you-can’t read-it-in-Florida) illustrated classic story collection—Twain Illustrated! So that would mean you and nobody else besides you better read it if you or them fears getting corrupted by reading a story that suggests what can happen to a democracy when it's subjected to a steady stream of disinformation.

But even if you are unafraid of corrupting your own-self, at least you better know in advance that you likely will be corrupted if you read the book. That's what I read on the internet and saw on Fox News, so it must be true. Nevertheless, if you insist on reading the book, go right ahead and take your chances—my treat. You will find a link to a free pdf version of Twain Illustrated for viewing, exporting, or whatever else right here. Either that, or if not, here’s another corrupting idea. Look on the home page of this website, adaptedclassics.com, and you will also be seeing printed blue letters that link to a read-along presentation of the full version of Running for Governor. So go ahead. Read-along, hear, and view the entire thing if you dare. Same thing—my treat.