Breaking News! Pause your doubting nature and brace yourself. As previously reported, Mark Twain will not Run for Governor of the state of Florida (even if he could have, why would he have bothered with that small potato!). Okay, I know you knew that. Now here’s the big news that’s breaking—thanks for your patience—Mark Twain will run for Vice-President of the USA in 2026 under the guise of—get this—Tim Walz, Governor of Minnesota.

This is no joke. The deal is in and settled. Twain has been looking for the right opportunity for a long, long while, looking, looking, looking to find and inhabit someone very much like himself: a plain-spoken common man with down-home values, forward-thinking mentality, the spirit of youth, and classroom familiarity. Well he finally found him. Tim Walz!

So there you have it. Mark Twain will now get his revenge on those book-banning blockheads when he becomes USA Vice President under the guise of Tim Walz. So down the tubes with weird, weird, weird soon and maybe forever. Hooray! Leastwise national weird, that is. But don’t worry. The new Vice-President is bound to set such a tone that state governments will begin thinking twice before denigrating Twain’s character by banning his books. Yes, this is a new day for Mark Twain, aka Vice President Tim Walz! Please thank God for this if you believe in Her!

To celebrate, here’s a link to a free mp4 version of Running for Governor, one of the three stories in Twain Illustrated. Celebrate and enjoy.